Mariam Azeez was in first grade in 2012 when 20 first-graders and six educators were killed at Sandy Hook Elementary in the same town where she attended school. After seeing a photo of Robb Elementary School students’ backpacks lined up in a row in Uvalde, Texas — never to be picked up again by the 19 students who were killed in another mass shooting — the 15-year-old penned this poem.
During a candlelight vigil at Trinity Episcopal Church in Newtown Thursday night, she begged the country to take action, asking:
When will we let them grow up?
Here is the poem:
WHEN I GROW UP
When a stinger stings / Their last sting / You hear your phone ring
We are bees
Seeds of the earth / Perfection at birth / Pollinators / Immortal / Flying high
But / We are dying off
And we don’t know why
All we do is study in a sanctuary / A home / And draw a little/ Maybe even sing / And take care of our hive
We have parents / And dreams / And hopes / We carry the burden of the world / Because we have time
We will relax later
But when is later / There is no more time / Scientists and politicians say they don’t know why we are dying / When flying / We want to be alive!!
But we DO know why
And the thought of our stingers have always kept us safe / We must never
Use pepper spray / Always keep your phone on / Look both ways when you cross the street / Turn off the lights / This is the door we exit from / This is the room we hide in / This is the desk we barricade the door with / This is the window we wait for rescue from/ This is the hand you cover your mouth with/ This is the pencil you will use as a weapon/ This is the last text you send your mother: ‘I love you mom.’
This is the guard bee who needs to protect the / Children At Play / Because who will
We do know why.
Inside this hive/ We let inside / A bee killer
He waited / For his resentment to turn into hatred / He is not a bee / He has no fuzz / No clear motive / He puts on a yellow jacket / He uses his stinger / His vile wish for a cleansing of the weak / He can use a stinger multiple times/ An apex predator / A monster / A human
When the stinger stings / Their last sting / The hive will ring your phone / To let you know they’ll bring / A mini body bag to your door / They’ll bring cookies / And thoughts and prayers
But since when did such meaningless words ever bring a mother
comfort / Did you think your thoughts and prayers will bring that bee back?
“He was listening to rap music / He was playing video games / He was having a bad day.” / All these things we will soon say / What about our promise? / To protect the earth? / To protect our kids? / But has anyone ever questioned his ability to sting? / Or the way he boasted about his weapon?
I don’t know much / I’m just a little bee in a big world
But what I do know is we let him in
We saw him in all his sinful colors / I can’t say I watched him grow / I can’t say I knew his motive / But i can say while growing up I wanted to become a police officer because witnessing 20 students my age in my town come home in bags
At 6 years old I felt the burden of being the one who had to do something
At 4 years old I said “When I grow up I will become a unicorn”
At 6 years old I said “When I grow up I will become a police officer”
At 8 years old I said “When I grow up I will become a lawyer”
When I grow up I will become a doctor / When I grow up I will become a firefighter / When I grow up I will become a ninja / When I grow up I will become a teacher / When I grow up I will become a veterinarian / When I grow up I will become an actor / When I grow up I will become a detective / When I grow up I will become a baseball player / When I grow up I will become a lighthouse guard
When I grow up I will be a...
I don’t know all too much about the world and its complexities / I don’t know all too much about our functions in society
But I do know this / Every baby bee in this hive / Has said these words
When I Grow Up
When will we let them grow up.
(from Hartford Courant, 5/28/2022)
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Thank you.
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